It has been a long time since I have posted. There has been a lot going on but not much to write about. Tonight was the first night in a long time I felt the need to write down feelings. Sorry if this makes no sense but these are just some “Late Night Ramblings.”
Late night ramblings:
For the most part things have been going great. I feel so blessed…but there is still a little part of me that is still a little depressed. In my now very busy everyday life there is very little time to confront this feeling but when I find down time this feeling creeps up on me.
There is no real reason for me to feel this way because today turned out perfectly. The dentist appointment for my crown happened. There were many things that could have prevented this appointment but everything just worked out. Also, when it came time to pay this week just happens to be “crown week” when you get $100 off your crown. How is that possible that everything worked out perfectly today.
Now after a “perfect” day I feel a little sad. My heart aches. Maybe a few to many references to infertility today. Maybe I am nervous for my mid-term tomorrow.
Infertility has been a part of my life for at least 5 years now. Since we started TTC in 2006 I am finally out of the fog of infertility but there are still a few times when infertility sneaks up on me. After a perfect day, she rears her ugly head to remind me that no everything goes perfectly. Obviously in my late 20′s we needed an egg donor to conceive our amazing son. Infertility keeps me grounded but I don’t always want to be grounded because I want to have faith again. I am not going to let infertility hold me back anymore. Infertility has stolen enough from me (us).
Infertility you may make my heart ache still but you will not be stealing anything else from me. You get this hour but no more. You are not bringing me down again!
